Proverbs 6:1-5
Unwise Promises
"My son, if you have put up security
for your neighbor, have given your pledge for a stranger, if you are snared in
the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth, then do this, my
son, and save yourself, for you have come into the hand of your neighbor: go,
hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor. Give your eyes no sleep and your
eyelids no slumber; save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter,
like a bird from the hand of the fowler." (Proverbs 6:1-5 ESV).
Specifically, putting up security FOR a
neighbor is in the nature of guaranteeing a debt of a neighbor (replace with
friend, family, acquaintance, etc.). There are many warnings in the Bible about
not guarantying the debt of another.
Think about what situation arises where
you would be asked to guaranty the debt of another. The other has a want or a
"need" that they can't satisfy either with their own resources or
their own credit. It is impossible to generalize as to all of these situations.
We could come up with extreme situations, like a widow with 8 children who is
sick and needs an operation, if someone doesn't pay for it or guaranty the
hospital bill, then the hospital will not operate, she will die, and the 8
children will be orphans will be put out on the street. Those are extreme
situations for which you would have to diligently seek the Lord for specific
answers. He may ask you to pay this bill and never expect repayment. He may ask
you to pray and watch his miraculous salvation of the widow (and would-be
orphans), two groups which God specifically protects in scripture. He may want
you to "take up their case" and be the spokesperson for this need
raising the money from other sources. Just pray, listen and obey in these
extreme situations, but also test. I have personally experienced a situation
where a man came to a small group Bible study with a story about how his wife
died, his car broke down, and he needed $x to fix the car and bury his wife. We
all willingly gave to this person who was the neighbor of one of the Bible
study regulars. A week or so later, someone saw the man's wife. The whole story
was a lie, and he probably had a great party with the several hundred dollars
he got from us that night. We are told to be: "“Behold, I am sending you out
as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as
doves." (Matt. 10:16 ESV).
Many times, however, the request for a
guaranty comes when a neighbor has an idea and gives a pitch something like:
"I will buy this piece of equipment, use it to make a huge profit and be
able to pay back the loan in 6 months to a year. I don't need the money from
you. All I need for you to do is guaranty the debt. This is a no lose
proposition. None of your own money, and I will give you $x (or x% of the
profits of the business forever) in exchange for helping me out in this
way."
Let's break this down. Does the neighbor
have a "need" or a "want." The idea to start a business
usually falls into the "want" category. That doesn't make it
inherently bad. In fact, it might be inherently good if the motivation of the
person is to fulfill the obligations on that person, provide for family, employ
others fairly, give to the Lord, etc. I just make this distinction because the
presenter will definitely make the case that this is a "need." Next,
are their any alternatives for the neighbor to getting the loan and/or having
you guaranty it. Usually, there are alternatives. The person could diligently
save money so that he or she doesn't need a loan at all, or enough money that a
guarantor for the loan is not needed. The argument about why this is
"impossible" is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity which
must be acted upon "now" or it will be lost. A mentor once told me,
"If you need an answer today, the answer is 'no.'" A bit extreme, but
you get the point. Most scams occur when you are separated from your normal
advisors and given a time deadline. If you take the time to pray, think about
it and consult your Godly trusted advisors, you are much more likely to get to
the right decision. Think of each of these factors as yellow lights that you do
not slow down for. Do you have time to think and pray about? If not, you've
just run through a yellow light without slowing down. Do you have time to
consult with your normal advisors? If not, you've just run through a yellow
light without slowing down. You might be able to run through one or two yellow
lights without slowing down and not get into an accident, but if you make a
habit of it, you're going to get nailed one day.
Another suggestion is to have a clear
picture of God's will for your life. Don't be a "drifter" who, when
an "opportunity" like this comes along has nothing better to do,
nothing to compete with it. Have a clear picture of the resources you have been
entrusted with, and the plan to use those resources as a wise steward. You may
have worked very hard to have a house paid off or on the track to be paid off
before you retire. Why would you risk that by guarantying the debt of another
and allowing that creditor to use your house as security. All of your planning
and work could be lost because of the unfaithful acts of the neighbor in not
repaying the loan which you guaranteed. If you have a clear sense that you are
to have your house paid off by the time you retire, then you will immediately
see the request to guaranty the debt as potentially interfering with that goal,
which makes it much easier to say no. A more compelling "yes" makes
the "no" much less painful.
Also be aware of manipulators. Some people
are skilled manipulators/persuaders. They will exploit any weakness in you. A
doubt, an insecurity, a need, greed, or any number of other things in you may
be a hook for a manipulator to get you to do something which is not right.
Guard against that. A good friend will not ask you to do something which is
against the Bible, wisdom or otherwise not in your best interest. Somehow,
however, they turn this around. "I can't believe that you call me your
friend, but you won't help me in a way that I need and costs you
'nothing'." Beware of manipulations. Time, prayer, clearly defined goals
and consultation with friends prior to acting are really good antidotes to
manipulations.
If you have made the unwise guaranty, or
in a more general sense, unwise promise, go to the person and pay what you have
to in order to be released. It's a big urgent priority. I can't really add
anything to the urgency indicated by the proverb itself: "go, hasten, and
plead urgently with your neighbor. Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no
slumber; save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird
from the hand of the fowler." Also, if you remember that an unwise
"yes" will put you in the situation where you will need to pay dearly
to get out of it, both in money and embarrassment, you will be much less likely
to give an unwise "yes" the next time. Unfortunately, I have
"learned" this lesson more than once. Hopefully I won't have to
"learn" it again, and hopefully you can learn it from reading, not
experience.
