Proverbs 6:1-5 - Unwise Promises

Proverbs 6:1-5

Unwise Promises

"My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, have given your pledge for a stranger, if you are snared in the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, and save yourself, for you have come into the hand of your neighbor: go, hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor. Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber; save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the hand of the fowler." (Proverbs 6:1-5 ESV).

Specifically, putting up security FOR a neighbor is in the nature of guaranteeing a debt of a neighbor (replace with friend, family, acquaintance, etc.). There are many warnings in the Bible about not guarantying the debt of another.

Think about what situation arises where you would be asked to guaranty the debt of another. The other has a want or a "need" that they can't satisfy either with their own resources or their own credit. It is impossible to generalize as to all of these situations. We could come up with extreme situations, like a widow with 8 children who is sick and needs an operation, if someone doesn't pay for it or guaranty the hospital bill, then the hospital will not operate, she will die, and the 8 children will be orphans will be put out on the street. Those are extreme situations for which you would have to diligently seek the Lord for specific answers. He may ask you to pay this bill and never expect repayment. He may ask you to pray and watch his miraculous salvation of the widow (and would-be orphans), two groups which God specifically protects in scripture. He may want you to "take up their case" and be the spokesperson for this need raising the money from other sources. Just pray, listen and obey in these extreme situations, but also test. I have personally experienced a situation where a man came to a small group Bible study with a story about how his wife died, his car broke down, and he needed $x to fix the car and bury his wife. We all willingly gave to this person who was the neighbor of one of the Bible study regulars. A week or so later, someone saw the man's wife. The whole story was a lie, and he probably had a great party with the several hundred dollars he got from us that night. We are told to be: "“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves." (Matt. 10:16 ESV).

Many times, however, the request for a guaranty comes when a neighbor has an idea and gives a pitch something like: "I will buy this piece of equipment, use it to make a huge profit and be able to pay back the loan in 6 months to a year. I don't need the money from you. All I need for you to do is guaranty the debt. This is a no lose proposition. None of your own money, and I will give you $x (or x% of the profits of the business forever) in exchange for helping me out in this way."

Let's break this down. Does the neighbor have a "need" or a "want." The idea to start a business usually falls into the "want" category. That doesn't make it inherently bad. In fact, it might be inherently good if the motivation of the person is to fulfill the obligations on that person, provide for family, employ others fairly, give to the Lord, etc. I just make this distinction because the presenter will definitely make the case that this is a "need." Next, are their any alternatives for the neighbor to getting the loan and/or having you guaranty it. Usually, there are alternatives. The person could diligently save money so that he or she doesn't need a loan at all, or enough money that a guarantor for the loan is not needed. The argument about why this is "impossible" is that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity which must be acted upon "now" or it will be lost. A mentor once told me, "If you need an answer today, the answer is 'no.'" A bit extreme, but you get the point. Most scams occur when you are separated from your normal advisors and given a time deadline. If you take the time to pray, think about it and consult your Godly trusted advisors, you are much more likely to get to the right decision. Think of each of these factors as yellow lights that you do not slow down for. Do you have time to think and pray about? If not, you've just run through a yellow light without slowing down. Do you have time to consult with your normal advisors? If not, you've just run through a yellow light without slowing down. You might be able to run through one or two yellow lights without slowing down and not get into an accident, but if you make a habit of it, you're going to get nailed one day.

Another suggestion is to have a clear picture of God's will for your life. Don't be a "drifter" who, when an "opportunity" like this comes along has nothing better to do, nothing to compete with it. Have a clear picture of the resources you have been entrusted with, and the plan to use those resources as a wise steward. You may have worked very hard to have a house paid off or on the track to be paid off before you retire. Why would you risk that by guarantying the debt of another and allowing that creditor to use your house as security. All of your planning and work could be lost because of the unfaithful acts of the neighbor in not repaying the loan which you guaranteed. If you have a clear sense that you are to have your house paid off by the time you retire, then you will immediately see the request to guaranty the debt as potentially interfering with that goal, which makes it much easier to say no. A more compelling "yes" makes the "no" much less painful.

Also be aware of manipulators. Some people are skilled manipulators/persuaders. They will exploit any weakness in you. A doubt, an insecurity, a need, greed, or any number of other things in you may be a hook for a manipulator to get you to do something which is not right. Guard against that. A good friend will not ask you to do something which is against the Bible, wisdom or otherwise not in your best interest. Somehow, however, they turn this around. "I can't believe that you call me your friend, but you won't help me in a way that I need and costs you 'nothing'." Beware of manipulations. Time, prayer, clearly defined goals and consultation with friends prior to acting are really good antidotes to manipulations.

If you have made the unwise guaranty, or in a more general sense, unwise promise, go to the person and pay what you have to in order to be released. It's a big urgent priority. I can't really add anything to the urgency indicated by the proverb itself: "go, hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor. Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber; save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the hand of the fowler." Also, if you remember that an unwise "yes" will put you in the situation where you will need to pay dearly to get out of it, both in money and embarrassment, you will be much less likely to give an unwise "yes" the next time. Unfortunately, I have "learned" this lesson more than once. Hopefully I won't have to "learn" it again, and hopefully you can learn it from reading, not experience.